Joy Returns

I wrote this as a journal piece around the same time that I wrote Time Makes Things Different.  They are companion pieces.

I used to say, “Cancer? Bring it on.” Not because I wanted to go to war with the disease that took Ken’s life, but because joy was so elusive and I was not used to living my life without joy. It felt like joining him would be easier, and I longed for him…his scent, his touch, his mind, his wit.

I don’t know what has happened in the five years and two months – almost to the day – since Ken died.  Joy has returned.  Stamina has returned.  My life’s energy has returned.

It feels sudden, but I know better.

Tables Turned

Ucluelet, Vancouver Island, BC

A year ago we took a family trip to Vancouver Island…

He is still eternally gone, and yet forever here

He joined us as we felt the cool shadows cast by aged cedars

He embodied our heartache as the ocean swells brought their rhythm to the coast

He watched as the young ones clambered over craggy,  black rocks – ancient, forever here